The morning was the worse, followed by lunchtime and after-work. These are three of my key vaping moments that occur throughout my day. I’m not sure I’ll ever get over the morning craving. I think getting up in the morning just sucks period and I’ve always loved the instant awake provided by jolting the system with nicotine. Unfortunately, I’ve never been successful only having a morning cigarette or vape except for maybe when I first started.
I used nicotine free vaping to help me though all the cravings and it really helped. I know that it is just the placebo effect, but that effect is pretty powerful. I think the action of vaping mimic deep breathing so that probably assists with calming the craving.
Today I didn’t feel good like yesterday. In fact, my moods have been all over the place. Ranging from blah, to mildly irritable, to empty and right now mostly empty. I see people smoking and think, “I want one,” despite the fact that literally not 48 hours ago I was convinced I was done with smoking. And I am…but that is the power of this drug. I don’t really want a cigarette, I want the emptiness to go away. My addict brain is totally trying to rationalize using nicotine right now even though not 48 hours ago, nicotine was actually making me feel pretty crummy.
The empty feeling is the most dangerous. I think this is why smokers often gain weight when quitting. I could eat everything in sight right now. I’m limiting myself to things like vegetables, lest I want to gain a bunch of weight.
All and all, far less severe than the withdrawal symptoms I was experiencing when I closet smoked, the symptoms that led me to vaping. And the cravings are getting less intense.
I might have to exercise a bit more over the next few days to boost those feel good neurotransmitters because I think my swim yesterday is what helped quash my craving the best.
Day 2 isn’t over yet, but I know I can do this. Addict brain cannot win this time or rather I am more familiar with her moves now that I can do a better job countering them.