Skip to content

About This Blog

I’m a 33 year old woman and for as long as I can remember I have had a fascination with smoking. Over the past 8 years, I’ve used this blog as an outlet for dealing with my fetish for smoking and my associated desire to smoke.

I’ve explored a variety of topics such as addiction, what my fetish means, where it originated, harm-reduction and fetish fiction.  

Over the past eight years, I have gone from abhoring my fetish to embracing it, at least partially, as it seems to be here to stay. This is why I sometimes contradict myself, especially when it comes to my desire to smoke which fluctuates on a daily basis. I also started writing this because I felt pretty alone. While there are plenty of men that seem to identify with having a smoking fetish there seem to be fewer women. I hoped that this blog would make others, especially other women, feel less alone. 

So if you stumble upon this blog in your internet searches and do not agree or are disgusted please move along. I’m well aware of how repulsive this could seem to someone, especially in this age of smoking bans. But if you come across this and are intrigued or otherwise relate please leave a comment!

Further- I take no responsibility for any actions people undertake as a result of what I write. Smoking is a dangerous habit with high potential for addiction and should you choose to smoke, you do so at your own risk.

39 Comments leave one →
  1. fetishburden permalink
    December 5, 2008 3:23 pm

    Nice blog! Keep it up! We don’t choose our fetishes, we can only try to deal with them as best we can.

  2. sympathize permalink
    December 6, 2008 1:22 pm

    so weird, our feelings and experiences are near identical! I sympathize / enjoy with you!

  3. joe permalink
    December 8, 2008 8:05 pm

    Nice job.. I have the same feeling as you do…

  4. Eduardo permalink
    February 14, 2009 6:45 am

    so, today is your big day, isn’t it?
    i hope you can tell us how it was!

    good luck, and heave pleasure.

  5. Evanescence permalink
    April 10, 2009 8:29 pm

    Hi there,

    It’s good to hear about another woman with a smoking fetish, as the overwhelming majority of smoking fetishists seem to be men. I’m now 52, and I continue to smoke in the closet (and very occasionally with certain other people). I accept my fetish and would love to “come out” with my smoking, but simply cannot imagine smoking in front of my kids. So there you have it… an imperfect life, with imperfect solutions. This weekend my hubby and kids are away, so I’m enjoying some wine and cigarettes on my back porch.


    • April 18, 2009 7:33 pm

      Yes- women with the fetish do seem to be a minority. Thanks for commenting! I think I have accepted my fetish- but do not see myself “coming out” as a smoker any time soon.

      Does your husband know about your fetish or your smoking?

  6. May 2, 2009 3:04 am

    i didn’t even know this existed. i wouldn’t say i have a fetish. but i do love it. this intrigues me.

    • May 4, 2009 8:06 pm

      You should check out Vesperae’s message board if you are intrigued. It is for lovers of smoking with or without the fetish. The link is on the side- The Sublime Desire of Smoking Cigarettes.

      • heartchuu permalink
        May 4, 2009 8:22 pm

        awesome! thank you!

        -Rhonda Kincaid

  7. smokedawg permalink
    June 10, 2009 11:14 am

    Finally got a chance to check out your blog after you found mine. You have a lot of interesting insights and I wish your journey through this was easier for you. Myself, I don’t have much fascination with personally smoking; mostly I want the second-hand smoke from my wife.😉 Though I occasionally think about taking up a periodic cigar habit.

    If you haven’t already done so, you might want to go check out the Smoking Fetish Kingdom forum at I joined it a month or two back, and although it’s a verynew forum, there are some women there who either have the fetish or who are sympathetic to it and supportive of those who have it.

    Sure, as with most places dealing with the smoking fetish, it’s mostly men, and sexual stuff is the focus, but you will find women there, you will find a pretty friendly bunch of folks overall I think…and there is even a small section devoted to pics of men smoking, if that’s something that interests you…

  8. June 23, 2009 12:48 am

    Just came across your blog on a link-back from my blog. Not sure if you were the linker or someone else, but figured I’d say hello. It looks like we are engaged in somewhat similar missions with our blogs, and I started reading yours.

  9. Andre permalink
    January 19, 2010 2:19 pm

    I am a gay man who has always been attracted to pipe smokers…for as long as I can remember.
    I am a pipe smoker myself.

    There is a whole world out there of gay men who are also pipe smokers and whose pipe smoking fetish is a major part of their lives.

    Keep up the great work!

  10. retroroxy permalink
    February 14, 2010 3:07 pm

    You’ve got a great blog here – very thoughtfully done. I would like to put a link to your blog on mine, if you wouldn’t mind.


  11. brent permalink
    February 23, 2010 6:22 am

    love this post, I too have a smoking fetish for women smoking pipes only, currently single but have been able to enjoy in the past A woman enjoying a pipe is soo sexy and the aroma is great. if interested in chatting about my past experiences from male perspective i can be reached at

  12. March 26, 2010 1:06 pm

    You have a smoking blog and I enjoyed it,


  13. George permalink
    April 4, 2011 12:51 pm

    I’ve been a closet smoker for about 10 years now and only smoke 4-5 cigs a day. I’ve thought of quitting now and then and I understand the health risks, but I figure with the minimum I smoke I’ll be fine. Everything in moderation right? Thing is, I love it and don’t want to stop. I’ve had this fetish since I was a kid….what got me started was seeing beautiful women smoking and to this day continue to be turned on by this. BTW, there are a lot of beautiful women smoking and I always enjoy watching them. Although prior to 10 years I would light up now and then, I really got into it when I started dating an exotic dancer. After a couple years we broke up but my smoking stayed. Can’t say I regret it though. My friends and family don’t know and I think they would just die if they found out.

  14. Milan permalink
    June 10, 2012 5:54 pm

    Wow I thought I was alone! I’m not a female but I feel you! I’ve had this for as long as i can remember. Even back in middleschool I would pretend to smoke candy cigs. Other kids would do it too but i would try to be as realistic as possible. Good times good times.

  15. ken permalink
    December 10, 2012 11:35 am

    I am a 45 year old male. Ever since I can remember I have had this fetish. As a small boy, I remember stealing cigarettes, and just the touch of them got me excited. I also am still in the closet. My wife knows I smoke, as she smokes when she drinks only.She does not know about the fetish side. I often find myself asking women for a light. I have a lighter that works fine. I just love the connection. One of my favorite smoking moments…I was smoking outside an airport, in MN. A very attractive brunette walked up to me and said ” hey, can I use your lighter?’ I handed it to her, she lit the tip, breathed in the smoke deep, and as handing me the lighter back, smoke still in her, said ” mmmmmmmm” I replied ” oh, yea, I know! ” she said ‘ I have 2 waiting for me over there. …she walked over there and handed her cigarette over to her 2 teen daughters.

  16. I'm not alone permalink
    May 3, 2013 4:56 am

    Wow, how I would love to tell someone else, talk to someone else who has this fetish. Mine consumes me and I think it’s because I cannot let it out. I know a lot of men have this fetish obviously because of all the porn sites. I cannot even share it with my wife. I have wondered so long if there are really women with this.

  17. January 27, 2014 10:28 am

    I applaud you, as I too am fascinated with smoking! Please check out the book I just published which is a full length study of cigarette smoking, and the joys it brings:

    • January 27, 2014 11:01 pm

      Oooh I’m totally interested… You don’t happen to have an e-reader version do you? If not, I’ll look into buying the book.

  18. lucas permalink
    April 1, 2014 5:35 am

    I think that there is a romantic history with smoking, at least in our times, also ancient history with smoking. We use this word fetish for something that almost seems latent within us only to be activated one day and enjoyed. Smoke rising by itself is a dance. When a beautiful person is behind it, it does make for art.

  19. Frisco permalink
    April 30, 2014 7:10 pm

    When reading the original story above, I wonder what today’s status is. Has the author ever tried her fantasy and lit up? Or is it still a fantasy? Reply appreciated.
    I do have a fetish, however it is very fragile, that means smoking much rather turns me off.

    • October 23, 2014 9:57 pm

      Just keep reading! I smoke occasionally (as occasionally as I update this blog). I no longer struggle with the fact that I desire to smoke, however I’ve decided not to smoke regularly.

  20. August 23, 2014 12:55 pm

    We are a bunch of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community.
    Your website offered us with valuable information to work on. You
    have done an impressive activity and our entire community will be grateful to you.

  21. September 14, 2014 11:39 am

    I’ve been browsing online more than 4 hours today, yet I never found any
    interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me.
    In my view, if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the net will be
    a lot more useful than ever before.

  22. Le Fettische permalink
    November 2, 2014 4:46 pm

    Thank you for providing a thoughtful perspective on the fetish, especially from a woman’s viewpoint – and a real one, instead of the fantasies usually encountered on fetish boards. I’m a 64-year-old man who has struggled with a smoking fetish most of his life and at last come to terms with it (mostly). I have had it from puberty; indeed, it may be said to have heralded my puberty with a veritable cannonade, charged by a very much unexpected dream of a tall blonde girl from my 7th grade class giving out cigarettes to our classmates and smoking through a long holder. But long before this – from age 6 at least – I’d felt the same thrill, in presexual form, at the thought or sight of smoking in certain contexts. With me it has borne the additional stigma of centering on young girls (and one young boy – myself), aged variously 11 through 17 (when I was 11); 13 to 14 (when I was 13 and through my 40’s); or 11 and under (from my 50’s on).

    Apart from such matters, I’ve always been strongly anti-smoking since I’m allergic to tobacco smoke (unless I’m the one smoking), so that my fetish has burdened me with enormous confusion and guilt, as well as embarrassment on those occasions when it has become known to others; not to mention almost the superhuman strength required to fight it down when an unexpected sighting has brought it into play (cause for me to feel as much relief as regret when it came to disappear from public view). I could describe at length when, how, and why I’ve found smoking erotic, and when not, and then at still greater length on the exceptions and qualifications that would contradict every single statement I’d just made; and the effort would still be doomed to failure.

    After six decades I’ve finally realized what people who deplore the fetish still don’t: smoking, like almost everything else, is – or can be felt as – not one but many things, not all of them compatible; and the feelings it provokes aren’t all compatible with one another either. And all feelings, and especially erotic or romantic ones (a fetish being highly romantic in nature, however repulsive its object may be to others), are will-o’-the-wisps, they go where they like and when they like, appear and disappear, grow gigantic and then dwindle to almost nothing, change face and form on a whim. And above all, they recognize no master: they may defy one’s convictions, conscience, sense of responsibility, and common sense. But none of that is unique to the fetish; it’s equally true, for example, of the disgust other people feel for the fetish. Neither is good or bad in itself; it’s just what it is.

    My own position, as a lifetime smoking capnolagnist, is one of neutrality: in most ways smoking has brought me discomfort; in one small way has it brought me pleasure, but that at its utmost is so profound I can almost overlook the other. A love-hate relationship.

    …and that, for what it’s worth, is my two cents.

  23. September 8, 2015 2:45 am

    Do you find that vaping still gives the same feeling that smoking does, as far as the fetish goes? I would love to read an article going further in depth on your feelings on this.

    • September 8, 2015 5:04 am

      Coming soon, but short answer- yes. I have something half- written on this. I was bit worried that vaping might not be enough, but I was wrong. Every once and awhile I get a psychological “cigarette craving” but the smell of cigarette smoke actually turns me off now and I have never followed through on these thoughts. As much as I used to get a kick out of smelling like smoke, I also hated smelling like smoke. I love that I can vape and it is my business. No smelly reminder of what I did earlier so if I don’t want people to know, they don’t know.

      • September 8, 2015 5:25 am

        Very nice. Every once in a while I will kick up the nic level or go with a higher VG to get a different experience. But yes I know what you mean.

  24. December 23, 2015 9:45 am

    Just wanted to say how pleased I am to re-discover your blog. I always valued your input on ‘ smokingfeelsgood’ and would migrate over to this blog from time to time. I was banned on that site for taking on some weirdos. Crazy world!. I had to change my name to sammyjo to get back on there and then got banned again. We had a few exchanges you’ll remember and a bit of fun. Good times in the main. Really warm regards from me to you this Christmas.



  25. January 27, 2016 6:42 am

    I have a huge smoking fetish and i accept it!

  26. Craig permalink
    February 1, 2016 6:31 pm

    I’ve had a smoking fetish since childhood. I’ve always loved to watch women smoke I even love the smell. As a teenager I always wanted to date a smoker and I did and she taught me how to smoke I loved being corrupted if you know what I mean. It was think the naughty elimient. I always fancied the naughty girls at school. I have always dated girls my mum didn’t e. I’m 40 now and it has never left me. I know it’s time to give up. But my current misses is a smoker and loves it. She doesn’t want me to give up. I don’t know how to break the cycle.

  27. Mike W permalink
    February 17, 2016 7:34 am

    This intrigues me, I have a massive smoking fetish, and am married to a gorgeous, heavy smoking woman so I am very lucky…I had no idea women enjoyed this fetish as well!! Are you a smoker as well?

  28. garmon partendy permalink
    March 22, 2016 5:28 pm

    Its a dream come true to find a women as into the fetish as you….i would like to believe you are real but this IS THE INTERNET.

    • March 22, 2016 5:41 pm

      Read my blog, no fantasy would be as conflicted as I am. I am real.

      • Douglas O'Neal permalink
        April 13, 2016 9:51 am

        What a relief to find such mature and literate comments such as yours about the smoking fetish. While anxious to hear of others experiences and thoughts, I have no interest in the terrible fiction and sexually explicit photos that so often pop up when entering “smoking fetish” in a search.
        As for myself, a 60’s male, I have had the fetish for as long as I can remember, and wonder if anyone has any idea how it originates? Perhaps from watching my perfect mom…a very refined lady and a very confirmed smoker. Perhaps the incongruity of her smoking being slightly naughty provided the fascination. If so, it was aided by my heavy smoking older sister-in-law who with every puff executed a perfect French inhale.
        Anyone’s thoughts and experiences would be welcome, either here or at an address I use for confidentiality, named after a smoking girlfriend of many decades ago in a foreign country:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 57 other followers

%d bloggers like this: