Today’s prompt: If confronted with your fears or worries from five years ago, what would you tell yourself?
First, I have to figure out what was going on five years ago. June 2016 minus 5 years is June 2011. Perfect. What an excellent time in my life to reflect upon!
5 years ago, I had just finished my first year of teaching. I was worried about a lot of things. I know this says “fears” but to me worries and fears are the same thing. So it was the end of the school year and while my contract with the school board had been renewed, I had been declared surplus at the school I was working at. Further, I was having no luck obtaining employment in the same city as my now husband.
1)Fear 1: I wouldn’t have a position next year. I would tell myself, don’t worry everything is going to work out. I had another position within 2 days of the school year ending.
2) Fear 2: I was afraid that I was actually a terrible teacher. An imposter. A fraud. My first year of teaching was incredibly difficult, making me wonder if I picked the right career. I would tell myself: keep doing what you are doing and you will get better and you will become the teacher you were always meant to be. I just finished my 6th year of teaching and I feel very competent now. I am very competent. I like to think I’m pretty good at my job.
3) Fear 3: I’d never find a job in the same city as my love. To be honest, this was my biggest worry. Me working in a different city was a huge strain on the relationship for the three years that we did long distance. We made it work but you can’t help but feel a little stagnant like you are always waiting to start your life. I would tell myself, you are going to do this for two more years and then through perseverance you will finally get a job in the same city as your love.
Thinking back, I think those were my main fears five years ago. What I learned from writing this is whenever you start worrying about the future, reassuring yourself that everything will be OK might be more productive than worrying. In every fear that I had, the only thing in common with all three us that everything was okay in the end.
Or as the Brits said: Keep Calm and Carry On.
Meditation: Loving Self-Compassion