Overall, I’m doing fine. While things aren’t always easy, my moods are more stable and more predictable than when I first quit. My cravings are super predictable as well. The weeks following my period when my estrogen levels go up, I’m happier than the period of time before my period when my levels are low, but I’m also more anxious. The anxiety triggers cravings. But because my body is setting up to ovulate as well, my libido is super charged and I get more ‘fetish cravings’. It is actually a wonder that I get through these periods without relapsing. Vaping has helped immensely though.
Following ovulation, as my progesterone levels rise, the anxiety goes down but I am less happy almost borderline depressed. As long as I can remember, I’ve cycled like this. I’m going to mood track for another month and see what kind of data I can collect. Then I’m going to see my doctor about options since I’m not actively wanting to get pregnant, perhaps a hormonal birth control might even me out. Or an antidepressant during my PMS phase, that was something that was found to be very effective with a women with premenstrual dysphoria. It is all worth looking into at the very least.
Anyhow it has been 41 days now. I’m proud of myself, even though it has gotten easier. Things aren’t really easy all the time, but I want to stay quit so that desire gets me through the cravings.
Until next time…