Today started OK but as it went on, my mood dipped down and then down again. My husband, who doesn’t like talking about emotions or what not, confronted me about it on our drive home.
He said, “What is up with you? You aren’t your normal bubbly happy self?”
I got defensive and insisted there was nothing wrong. I mean there is nothing wrong. Or at least there shouldn’t be.
He asked me, “Is this about your Dad?”
I figure it might be. I actually feel like a shit human being for how I am dealing with my father’s situation right now. It feels like that is part of it. I really don’t want to get into that situation on here.
The thing is, as selfish as it is, I feel barely capable of taking care of myself right now. I think I’m mildly depressed. I don’t have dark thoughts like I did in my teens, but I feel blah, like I’m only doing things because I know I should. Today, I oscillated between this blah feeling and weepy.
The positive in all this: no cravings? Or at least I’m taking it as a positive. The alternative is that I’m more depressed than I think I am and no cravings means I’ve lost total interest in something I used to enjoy.