Today, I only had one craving but it was a doozy. It came out of nowhere and was like being hit by a truck. I had just finished eating a most delicious lunch- a croque monsieur , when out of nowhere: intense craving. I really wanted nicotine or a cigarette. I wouldn’t have been picky either. Suddenly, cigarettes (which haven’t smelled good to me since I started vaping) smelled good. I got through it by ‘surfing the urge’. I vaped a bit when we got back to the car and then I felt fine.

I consider this type of craving to be ‘psychological’. I’ve been having this type of craving my whole adult life (since the first puff).The difference is now I can recognise that I don’t actually want to smoke, whereas before it was the road not traveled. How could I know I didn’t want it when I hadn’t explored that road? I suspect I will have these cravings for the rest of my life. Who knows, I mean the longest I’ve gone in my adult life without tobacco or nicotine is 5 years.

Vaping does help me relieve this type of craving. The sick, twisted part of me enjoyed the craving. But I guess if I can find a way to enjoy the cravings without giving in, I figure I’ve won.

 

Advertisements