Other than being a bit emotional when both our hot water tank and our furnace decided to break in the same day, today has been pretty smooth sailing. Finding out that bad news was enough to trigger a craving, but it is becoming easier and easier to get through those.
Self-control is like a muscle. When you are in active addiction, your self-control muscle gets pretty lazy. I mean, unless I was in a place where I couldn’t vape, if the idea to vape came to mind, not even a true craving or need for nicotine, I would vape. When I was happy I would vape, when I was sad I would vape and always when I was bored. Boredom is my main trigger. I found my self-control muscle getting lazy in other parts of my life, like with food or exercise. I’m not sure if it was related to using nicotine or because of the fact that the answer was always yes to using nicotine, so the answer to every cake craving was naturally to buy and eat cake or bake cupcakes, instead of saying I don’t really need cupcakes.
As I write this, I feel a wave of fatigue. From what I’ve read, fatigue is one of the last symptoms to go. While it isn’t as quick as a hit of nicotine, I’m going to deal with this the old fashion way, with a nap.
Thanks to those of you that are encouraging me. I’ll try to update pretty regularly, as writing is pretty cathartic.