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Closet Fascination

A blog about a journey, smoking, not smoking, vaping and everything in between

Month

June 2015

Day 2 of Vaping

Today was my first full day vaping and I have to say I don’t miss smoking real cigarettes at all. Today, I experimented with different amounts of time between sessions to make sure I can still go 3-4 hours without and not be a total wreck. Turns out, all of my weeks of smoking on and off and thus going through worse withdrawal over and over again has me pretty well trained to deal with times when I won’t be able to vape.I actually find cravings are easier to deal with now that I know that I will eventually be able to deal with them. And for the most part today, my only real cravings were in the morning and after a 5 hour hiatus.

The only thing that bugs me is that I have no idea how much I am consuming. Perhaps this is a good thing for the girl that used to keep a count of the number of cigarettes she had smoked in her lifetime, but still. It would be nice to know. Best I can tell is I’ve consumed about 1.5 ml over the past day and a half or about a third of the tank. One bottle of juice is suppose to be equivalent to a carton so using a crude proportional formula, I’ve vaped the equivalent of 10 cigarettes. This explains why my body and mind were so unhappy with me smoking one or two cigarettes a day. I guess I have a base line now to compare to as I go on.

I would say to anyone who wants to quit smoking cigarettes but does not want to stop using nicotine this is the way to go. There were also a lot of people in the shop when I went looking for something to replace the action of smoking without the nicotine. I’m not sure how it works in that regard, but I guess it could be used that way.

Tomorrow, I shall get to see how all this works out with a day of work.

Freedom

I finally feel free. Odd that freedom should come from submitting to my desire, or perhaps not. Smoking occasionally wasn’t working for me anymore. Last week, I smoked 1-2 cigarettes every day except Tuesday. By Friday, my body was quite upset that one was the quota for the day. Since I find it psychologically impossible to reconcile smoker me with my non-smoker image, I decided to try a harm reduction strategy instead.

What is harm reduction? Harm reduction provides people that are unwilling to stop using their drug of choice with a safer alternative.

I chose to start vaping. It was a hard choice because it meant admitting to myself that I’m addicted. After my initial excitement, I vaped about every 3 to 4 hours or so. I realized that I had been living in a state of withdrawal since March.

I also threw out my pack of cigarettes. There was only about 10 cigarettes left which I had planned to smoke prior to purchasing my vaping rig.

I also came clean to my now husband. He took it very well and will soon be the owner of a new pipe since that was our deal if I bought a pack.

Anyhow, I’m sure I’ll post more on this later.

The Gentleman’s Guide to Interacting with Women Who Smoke

…when you dig women that smoke (cigarettes, pipes, cigars or otherwise)

I’ve been writing this blog for seven years and for the most part the people that choose to comment on my posts are really nice. They comment on the intellectual value or entertainment value of the posts, perhaps to say thank you for expressing something that they too felt.

Every once and awhile I get a weird creepy post. They usually start with something like, “I have SUCH a fetish for women who smoke! Please write more stories about you smoking, because smoking is really really hot.”  When I read this, I read: “You just provided some great masturbatory material. I really want you to write more stuff that I can get off to.”

To me, this is the online equivalent of Cat Calling. What is cat calling? It is when typically a guy (but it can be a woman as well) calls out/whistles at a woman/guy to signal their sexual interest in a woman/guy. Some guys think women like this, but overwhelmingly most women just find it creepy. The video below illustrates this if you don’t believe me.

So here is my guide to interacting with women who smoke (online edition). I’ve never had a creepy experience in real life actually with regards to meeting a guy with ‘the fetish’.

1) You don’t know her, nor have you been intimate with her

Therefore, you should be interacting with her as if she is a platonic stranger. Anything sexual references to her is creepy.

2) Even if you are pretty sure that she shares your fetish for smoking, you do not have to state that you have a fetish for smoking. Because if she doesn’t or doesn’t know what that means she will probably think you are creepy. In the case of my blog where I talk about my own fetish, it is less odd depending on the context. But even so there is a difference between saying, “I have a super fetish for smoking! OMG you smoke and I find that so sexy!” and someone describing what they like about a woman that smokes in more general terms (not creepy for most- as long as they are open-minded).

3) Just because she smokes and participates in perhaps a pro-smoking community, doesn’t mean she is there explicitly to entertain you and your fetish for women who smoke. Be respectful of the fact that she is a free individual living her own life.

4) If you start corresponding and she stops, you’ve probably been creepy in some way. If she has never responded to any messages you have sent her is either not interested in interacting with you or she found your message creepy. Reevaluate your messages and see if you broke any of the rules above.

5) Last tip: Imagine yourself at a bar/restaurant and that you were having dinner with said girl. Read your message. If you wouldn’t say what you read out loud to the girl, you shouldn’t sent it the message to the girl.

I’ll end this here. Like I said before, it is there are a few creeps that ruin it for everyone else. 95% of the time, people are nice and respectful and seem to ‘know’ these rules. I’ve always dealt with these types by deleting their comments and not responding to them which seems to be working well for me.

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