After a bout of smoking, I always get a little introspective about my own smoking. I was rereading some comments and I read one where I discuss that I could never be an occasional smoker because it would always lead to regular smoking.

I no longer believe this to be true. Perhaps because I have been occasionally smoking for the past few years. Once every few months, I light up. I don’t always smoke cigarettes but I do smoke tobacco of some sort. Not to say I don’t experience withdrawal of sorts. The week or so after I indulge, I definitely think about smoking and/ crave doing it more than usual. But somehow I find it pretty easy to ignore these thoughts now. Perhaps it is because I’m no longer paranoid that each additional cigarette I smoke is going to the last one I smoke by choice.

I’m fairly certain that the withdrawal that I feel is similar to what a regular smoker feels when they abstain. Perhaps the intensity is different- I really am in no place to judge that. I found it was the worst when I was unoccupied. In fact, this past weekend when cravings were the most intense, I considered numerous times buying another pack. But then the craving would pass and I too would pass on purchasing more cigarettes.

On some level, I think I actually enjoy the withdrawal and the brief mental torment I inflict upon myself. Reminds me of the power of the delicious poison I’ve chosen to ingest.

I’m already looking forward to the next time I choose to indulge. I think it will be my favorite type of flavored cigar next time, a Tatiana Night Cap since I bought three the last time I visited the tobacconist and haven’t had one yet.

Until my next adventure…