About a month ago, my staff had a belated Christmas party. After a few drinks, I was feeling my normal desire for a cigarette but alas it seemed like none of my normal smoking buddies were there. Until a new staff member spoke up and said she would really like a smoke as well. I offered to buy them for us and by the end of the night we had almost an entire pack left between the two of us. I said I would hang on to them until the next time we went out.

Despite having a pack to myself, I really had no desire to smoke them- I’ve really grown to hate smoking alone. But the time came for another staff outing so I brought them with me. Some people were surprised that I had them, most were just happy i had them. Suddenly, I’m supplying everyone with cigarettes. While the number of regular smokers is down, I’m convinced that the number of occasional smokers is much higher and probably misreported.

We have two staff that smoke regularly. One is open about it, the other one is pretty much closeted and does a great job hiding it. No one knew until she outed herself last year. Her husband doesn’t even know.

I didn’t come home with the pack- I gave it to a co-worker early in the evening because they were smoking more than me. One thing is for sure- I definitely lost track of how many I had.

I’m not sure why it has been easier to out myself lately, but I think it has a lot to do with the fact that when people haven’t known you for as long they have no preconceived notions of how they think you should be so while there might be an element of surprise at first, they accept it more readily.

Until my next smoking adventure…