It was a good night tonight. Had my first cigarette in a long time. I was out drinking with some co-workers. Apparently these co-workers are the smoke when they drink type. I remember a time where I wouldn’t have wanted people to know I like the occasional cigarette. I’m
so much more confident now. So the time came that they were going out for a smoke, and I went along. I was asked if I wanted my own cigarette and I said yes. This is the first time I have accepted and smoked a cigarette in front of people. But of course… I had enough alcohol in me that I neither felt shy nor embarrassed.
I also had enough alcohol in me to make the cigarette amazing. I always forget how amazing nicotine is when I haven’t had it in awhile. I thanked my co-worker, hugged him, and spent the next hour on drunken nicotine cloud nine. I’m glad I’m finally at the point in my life where I don’t care what people think. I think is because my boyfriend knows and is okay with it. I’m okay with it because I know I can be casual about it without getting addicted. My current job still isn’t conducive to a habitual smoking habit. I love my random encounters enough that I don’t need anything else. Life is good .