Last night had me wondering: if my boyfriend knew how powerful my fetish is, would he take advantage of it? The answer I came up with is no, simply because of our differing sex drives. I’m usually the one wanting to be sexual more often.  But quite honestly, I realized just how powerful my fetish is last night.

His best friend came over for a beer and as he walks in he says, “You are probably wondering why I am wearing my jacket.” We live in the same building as him, so there would be no need for him to wear his jacket unless of course we were going outside for a smoke. I was on to this right away. My boyfriend needed the visual evidence of the pack of cigarillos that his friend bought on Sunday. Of course I was game, since my weakness now is social smoking. We play one game of cards and then his friend decides it is time to go out to smoke. My boyfriend wants to play another game, so I am torn between really wanting to join his friend outside and playing cards. I think my boyfriend didn’t want to smoke again, which I am fine with. But he was cockblocking me from doing so… or at least temporarily. I lost at cards, probably on purpose so I could get out there faster.  I was partly mad at myself for having so little self-control and partly mad at my boyfriend’s lame attempt to stop me. I know I didn’t need the cigarillo… I didn’t even inhale at all this time, and they tasted so much worse this time so it was clear I was just smoking them for the sake of smoking.

Funny thing is, it was enough to turn me on. The effect is almost instant and has nothing to do with me inhaling or not. What a devilish association I have with smoking and only time will tell if this effect it has on me will transfer to other types of tobacco smoking. So far it is not “brand” specific. I could probably smoke what many fetishists consider to be “short, ugly cork tipped” cigarettes and still be turned on. Regardless, the effect was once again wasted last night. I don’t think I have a true fetish in the clinical sense where I need to smoke to get aroused. But I have to say it is the fastest way to get me in the mood.

I’m still waiting for my pipes to come in, although I am thinking if they don’t arrive today it will be Monday or Tuesday before I get them. Maybe I’ll get them around the same time that find out about the job I had an interview for yesterday. Getting pipes and a job on the same day would be pretty awesome. On that note, I’m off to get some housework done.

Update: Pipes came today which is nice, although I am not sure when the first chance I will have to try them will be. More on the pipes in another post which probably won’t appear until next week.