I took advantage of the good properties of nicotine this weekend. I’m actually kicking myself for chickening out and not doing so earlier in the weekend. I unwrapped the pack on Saturday but a combination of procrastination and unwillingness to leave my house resulted in no cigarettes smoked. Consequently, I actually didn’t get that much studying done, because at home there are far too many distractions for someone that has borderline ADHD.
Sunday, I left my house as I was in desperate need of a locale change in order to get anything done. I moved myself toward the University. I was actually going to study outside so that I could smoke whenever I felt like it, but the rain drove me inside. Around 3:30 pm I started to get antsy and decided, although slightly apprehensively, what the hell. By now it had stopped raining but all the benches were wet. I wiped a picnic table off with the sarong I brought with me when it had been warm enough to study outside. I have to admit, I was a bit nervous. Probably because 1) I was at the university (What if someone sees me? gasp!) , 2) The past few times have made me sick and 3) I was smoking an unknown cigarette. I sat for a bit, reading my book and finally decided to go through with it. As it was windy, it took me a few tries to get the thing lit. The nervousness definitely took away from the experience. I took it pretty slow and only took about four decent size drags on the cigarette. Probably the perfect amount as I felt alert, but not dizzy or nauseous. I went back to the library and studied for another couple hours.
Today, I decided might as well take advantage of these magical concentration properties from the get go. I walked myself to the quiet picnic tables I smoked at yesterday and didn’t even hesitate. Because I was less nervous, the cigarette was much more enjoyable. Also, yesterday I hardly noticed the way these cigarettes tasted. Today, I noticed that they are really mentholated. So much so I could barely taste the tobacco. But then thinking back- I am pretty sure that what I was noticing is the difference between a fresh menthol cigarette and a stale one. I did pick out different cigarettes than last time. They were Craven ‘A’ Menthols, King Size. Far less aesthetically pleasing as a cigarette, but actually quite enjoyable to smoke. They are quite a bit fatter than the B&H’s and of course shorter than the 100s. I actually find the shorter length less intimidating. I’m sort of a completionist, and I think that is what got me in trouble with the B&H’s. I kept trying to smoke the whole thing when I was probably “done” about half way through. I had a second one around 3:30 with some tea. It was also enjoyable. I almost had a third one before I went home, but decided I would just be smoking one because I could, not because I actually wanted one.
But all and all… three good experiences with smoking in a row. Now, hopefully I pass my midterm tomorrow.