As of a couple of days ago, I think it would have been either Wednesday or Thursday, I made it through half a pack of cigarettes. It only took me, I don’t know, two and half months. I have 11 left now and there were 25 to begin with. I was going to have one today- but right now I don’t feel like it and honestly, something I have learned through the last 14 cigarettes- no point in smoking when you do not feel like it. The experience is not nearly as good when you aren’t into it. And I find I rush it when I’m not really into it- which tends to make the cigarette even worse. There is nothing worse than a rushed cigarette.
I did this silly Facebook quiz to say what my “true age” was- but I had trouble filling in sort of the categories. The questions on smoking were either: do you smoke more than two packs a day or less than two packs a day or you have quit but it has been less than 5 years or more than 5 years since you quit or you have never smoked. Now I could say that I smoke less than two packs a day- but honestly that puts me in the same category as someone who smokes 20X what I do. I am well aware that any smoking is bad, but seriously- there was no room for any sort of “occasionally” gray area. The drinking question was not much better. You either drink one, two, three, four, five or more, or no drinks a day. Where is the answer for number of drinks in a week? I don’t drink every day, sometimes not even at all during a week. When I do drink it is usually on the weekend.
Anyhow, the reason why I was posting is because I haven’t really decided what I will do when the pack is finished. I think I’m just going to take things as they come. If I want more, I’ll buy more- but if I don’t, no need to spend money on something I that don’t want. I have a feeling that even if I do not want more right away, I will eventually want more and will eventually buy another pack.
Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I have smoked all 14 cigarettes- for most people getting through a pack probably does not represent much of a feat. But considering how long I agonized over the decision, it is a big deal to me. And the world has not imploded like I once thought it would… and the most surprising thing to come from all of this, as I mentioned in my last post, is peace. My mind can finally rest and worry about more important things- like lesson planning, which I actually enjoy doing.