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Day 1 to 4 and a new challenge

February 26, 2015

closetfascination:

So I’ve started a blog about fitness. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time as it is something I am passionate about. I know it may not interest any of the readers of this blog or maybe it does. Maybe you are curious to find out other sides to me that I have not revealed on this blog. If so, read on. I’m doing a 90 day challenge. Exercise everyday for 90 days. I’m super excited about it even though I typically hate strength training.

Originally posted on 90daysbeyond:

Last June, I ran a marathon and that was pretty awesome. It was the hardest thing I have ever done and I am happy with how it went. There was something magical about running that race, something I don’t think I’ll ever experience against, even if I did choose to run another marathon.

After all of that running, my desire to run had waned a little. Running is still my cardio of choice but I don’t think I ever want to run that much ever again. Around November of this year, I stopped working out entirely and gained some weight over the holidays. I needed a new challenge, something that would get me out of my comfort zone, challenge me and make me stronger.

That is when I found Neila Rey’s website. Strength training has always being something that I have hated. During my marathon training, I developed tendinitis in…

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Pipe Tobacco Cigarettes

February 10, 2015

Pipe Tobacco Cigarettes are something I’ve always wanted to try.

I’ve gotten away from smoking regular cigarettes, unless they are supplied to me by others since I was wasting the pack. It was a waste of money because the cigarettes would go stale before I could smoke them all. A smart ass would say, well obviously you don’t smoke enough.

The cool thing about pipe tobacco, is that properly stored, it lasts a long time. What do I have tons of at my house? Pipe Tobacco.

I think I’ll pick up some rolling and give it a try. I’m worried I won’t like the aesthetics of a rollie as how I look when I smoke does matter to me. I ran the idea past the fiancee and while he doesn’t like it, he said he’d rather I do that than buy a pack of cigarettes.

Has anyone ever done this? Was it good, bad or a waste of time? I’ll keep you up to date on what happens.

All-time low for Canadian smoking rate at 15 per cent: survey

February 8, 2015
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closetfascination:

This is interesting. I also think lots of people are lying. Maybe not, but 4% seems low given all the occasional smokers I’ve met.

Originally posted on Metro News:

TORONTO – A national survey has found that the smoking rate among Canadians is at an all-time low, at 15 per cent of the population.

The 2013 Canadian Tobacco, Alcohol and Drugs Survey found 11 per cent reported smoking daily, while four per cent say they use tobacco only occasionally.

The biennial survey of 14,500 Canadians aged 15 and older included questions for the first time about the use of electronic cigarettes. Overall, nine per cent of respondents reported having tried an e-cigarette, among them 20 per cent of young people aged 15 to 24.

The survey also found that 11 per cent of respondents of all ages reported using cannabis in the previous year, with 22 per cent of teens and 26 per cent of 20- to 24-year-olds saying they had smoked pot.

Almost a quarter of those surveyed said they had used prescription opioids, stimulants or tranquillizers in…

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Smoking and the media: The Mindy Project

February 3, 2015

The title of this post should probably be Danny Castellano is my favorite tv closet smoker. I just started watching the Mindy Project and I am thoroughly enjoying this quirky comedy. I should be clear- cigarettes, in the show so far, have pretty much only been held, nobody has ever actually smoked.

That said, I love that they made Danny Castellano a pseudo-closeted smoker. I say pseudo-closeted because it seems everyone knows about it, but he still tries to hide it and projects an image of largely being a non-smoker. Classic closet smoker. It is probably not the only thing I like about him but the fact that we know that he smokes and that it is referenced to frequently is super intriguing.

I think I connected so much with this because of my brief foray into closet smoking. Although I guess I’m sort of a closet smoker as well. I still don’t volunteer information about the fact that I smoke to most people. I sometimes tell my classes for increased credibility. My anti-smoking boss doesn’t know nor would I tell him. My parents don’t know, nor do I ever think I will tell them. My close friends know I smoke the pipe occasionally and some of them know about my experimentation with cigarettes but other than my significant other have not seen it. My fellow occasional smoker co-workers know, but their secret safe with me.

All this secret/ occasional smoking gets me wondering: How many of us are there? I’m going to the dentist tomorrow and when my hygienist asks me if I smoke, I’m probably going to lie and say no again. I mean I drink a lot of tea and like red wine so there is other places for the staining to come from. More likely places. Family doctor asks: I’ll probably say I don’t smoke. But if I did tell, what would I say?

Me: I smoke when the opportunity presents itself.

Doctor/Dentist: How often would that be?

Me: Anywhere between 5 and 10 times a year.

Doctor/Dentist: Blah blah much healthier not to smoke at all blah blah blah or my doctor (because he has got the best sarcastic sense of humor) would probably almost roll his eyes, look at me disapprovingly and say, “Really? Try to cut back to zero.” or potentially, “Why? I don’t get it.” That could quickly turn into an awkward conversation.

I mean I occasionally fantasize about becoming a regular smoker but it is just a fantasy. A fantasy that turns me on. The reality is: I like enjoying a cigarette or pipe or cigar occasionally without the strings of daily use.

So when they do surveys to find out how many smokers there are, how many people lie and say they are non-smokers when really the answer should be occasionally? Perhaps the question is “Are you a smoker?” and they don’t identify as a smoker. This article says half of people in the US claim to be light or intermittent smokers.I also identified with this quote:” And because they don’t see themselves as smokers, they don’t intend to “quit.” ” So true.

But that article misses the point. Occasional smokers aren’t really addicted. At least not in the way the article suggests. This article was much more accurate in describing the occasional smoker. It talks about how the occasional smoker is addicted to smoking not necessarily the nicotine. Bingo. They likened it social drinking. Drinking and smoking confined to social situations that poses no problems to the user.

While I was terrified of becoming addicted, for me, it was the result of many many year of anti-smoking propaganda. It is becoming clear to me that beyond my fetish, I don’t have a huge drive to smoke regularly. Even when I do smoke socially, I often don’t want a cigarette as fast as some of the people that I am with. But I love the feeling of smoking. Inhaling the smoke. Holding the cigarette. Trimming the ash. The Buzz. Watching the filter turn brown.

So I think Danny represents a lot of us and that is why Danny Castellano is my favorite tv closet smoker.

Strange and Beautiful- Chapter 14

January 13, 2015

I finally updated this story. The ending has been in my head forever, so I’ve decided to put it on paper. It is almost done, probably 3 to 6 more installments.

So without further delay I give you: Strange and Beautiful Chapter Fourteen

Enjoy!

Smoking and the media: Call the Midwife

January 7, 2015

After spending the weekend binge watching three seasons of this amazing BBC show and wanting to write about here the whole time I watched, I finally get to. This show is a must watch. If you have not seen, run, don’t walk, to go watch it. It will make you laugh, cry and of course, since it is a 1950’s period drama, there is lots of smoking. It isn’t quite as overt and in your face as Mad Men, but for me that made it better. In Mad Men, you get the sense that for the most part, smoking is no big deal, everyone smokes and after awhile, it definitely seems very normal and almost less special. In Call the Midwife, smoking is much more intentional and for me, that made it that much more wonderful to watch. So if you don’t want to be spoiled. Stop reading now and go watch it.

The only regular smoker of the female characters is Trixie. She smokes Sobranie Black Russians which I had to look up because I wasn’t even aware of what they were. With Trixie, smoking is very glamorous and fits very much with her character of being the daring, outgoing, somewhat brash nurse. While I appreciated her smoking, she is not the character that inspired me to write this post. For the life of me, I have not been able to find any pictures of any of the stuff I’m going to talk about so you’ll just have to go watch to show when you are done reading this.

At various points in the show, you see most of the non-nun female leads smoke although sometimes it is in the background and none of them are regular smokers.

For me, the most fascinating of these occasional smokers is Sister Bernadette/ Shelagh. She starts the show in the first season as a nun. By season 2, we she her start questioning her calling and by the end of season 2 she decides to stop being a nun and pursue a relationship with Dr. Turner, the chain-smoking doctor that answers to the midwifes when they need him. The first time we see her smoke is with him. They have just finished with a difficult delivery and they step outside where Dr. Turner is about to smoke a cigarette:

Dr Turner: We’re like an officer and a sergeant the morning after the Somme! And that’s not to say I see myself as the officer. [takes a smoke] I feel as though I should offer you one.
Sister Bernadr turner bernadettedette: Just a puff.
Dr Turner: Of this?
Sister Bernadette: Quickly, just a wee one. [takes a puff] What kind are these?
Dr Turner: [watching her admiringly] Henleys.
Sister Bernadette: Oh, Henleys! I loved Henleys. They were the kind my father used to smoke. I used to sneak one out of his desk sometimes when I was about fourteen. [hands back] Thank you.
Dr Turner: You’ve earned it.
The next time we see her smoke she is no longer a nun, but Shelagh and she is married to Dr. Turner. They are having a discussion in their house when the doctor offers her a cigarette.
Dr. Turner: Do you want one?
Shelagh: I always want one. But you don’t always ask. (Takes a cigarette and lights up)shelagh
I found this super intriguing and related to it. I almost never get offered a cigarette by smokers. Probably because I am perceived as non-smoker, which is probably how I want to be perceived (as we find out later, so does Shelagh.) But being perceived as a non-smoker, one often gets left out of smoking activities. Case in point, my current co-workers did not know of my occasional smoking status. I also didn’t know for sure that some of them were occasional smokers. So my co-worker and a few other say they need to go get something from her car and come back reeking of smoke. Needless to say, I got to smoke with them later, however, I missed the first opportunity because of how I was perceived by others. Can I blame them? No… there is nothing that would make them think otherwise, even though I don’t actively hide the fact that I have smoked in the past/ occasionally indulge, I also don’t volunteer that information.
The last interchange happens rather rapidly, almost to give us the sense of normalcy, and that this is not the first nor will it be the last request. They are discussing a upcoming choir competition (Shelagh is the choir director) and Shelagh asks for a puff.
Shelagh: Puff, please.
Dr. Turner: You can always have one of your own.
Shelagh: No, because that would make me a smoker.
Both me and Dr. Turner laughed a little at that. The way she smokes, the way she enjoys it, to me says she is a smoker. To Shelagh, a smoker is someone that smokes every day and has there own cigarettes. To me, a smoker is someone who enjoys smoking. They may not smoke all the time, but they both enjoy smoking when they do it and desire to smoke when they are not smoking. People who smoke everyday are simply smokers that smoker more often than I do. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I can hardly say I have quit, because I know I will smoke again, given the opportunity. But I’m not exactly smoking either. The way I see it, I am a smoker with super long interval between cigarettes. Some people might call those “relapses” but to me they are not since I have never said that I was quitting or trying not to smoke.
Why wouldn’t Shelagh want to be seen as a smoker? I don’t know enough about the 50’s to really to guess as  to why, however, I am wondering if even in the ;’50s smoking was still considered a bold maybe even a little bad thing to do. In this case, being a smoker definitely would not fit with Shelagh’s image. Regardless as to why, it was fun/ interesting to see a show actually address smoking directly. I definitely plan on re-watching this series as it was good on many more levels than the fact that it contained some killer smoking. Until next time… smoke em’ if you got them and if you want to.
January 12 Edit: After much searching (and believe me- people like to cut away/remove the smoking as if it doesn’t exist) I found a couple of images to add to the post. Enjoy!

Nature or nurture or both

November 16, 2014

In light of the Jian Ghomeshi scandal that has been in the news here in Canada, talk of unconventional sexual preferences has been discussed in the media more than ever. As someone with a kink for smoking, I find how these links came to be a fascinating topic.This article discusses where unconventional sexual preferences come from and suggests that we may be preprogrammed to prefer certain things.

I couldn’t help but thing of my own preferences and wonder how much of it was nature, and how much was exposure to smoking from a young age. Some of my earliest memories of being sexually aroused involve smoking.

Recently, I’ve been rewatching Gilmore Girls on Netflix and I realized part of the reason I liked Jess more than Dean, was that he smoked.

image

This picture makes me melt. I always looked forward to when he would smoke, but it wasn’t shown very often.

I think that part of my kink comes from society and how media porteys smoking and kinda bad, but also kind of sexy. Perhaps there is something that made me predisposed to odd sexual preferences. I guess we will never know.

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