I smoked for the first time today since July. I had a pipe and it was every bit as amazing as thought it would be.We have been having amazing fall weather and it simply demanded a pipe. I am super glad I never went too far down the road of smoking habitually as I think it is the fact that I haven’t that allows me to dabble without struggle.
I found this articles on quitting and I related to it completely. In fact, I think it is the best advice I have ever read on how to quit smoking.
I think this is precisely what I had to do when coming to terms with my fetish and my desire to smoke. Once I stopped telling myself I couldn’t smoke, experimented with exercising my right to smoke and choice to smoke, I realized I didn’t want to smoke all the time. I realized I would always want to smoke because deep down I love smoking and that is what makes me a smoker. Sometimes people try to tell me I’m not a smoker, because I don’t smoke often enough or have never smoked habitually. I disagree. I feel like I could have easily become a regular smoker with a few different choices. I chose not to.
I know it is a choice because I have jars full of tobacco (properly sealed for freshness of course) that go unsmoked the majority of the time. I also don’t always smoke when I want to but this isn’t some painful “youcan’tsmokerightnowbecauseyouaretryingnottosotheonlythingyouwanttodoissmoke” kind of desire or craving. It is more of a hmmm I want a cigarette (or pipe) right now, being one with this desire and then choosing not to have anything.
This is the first sober smoke I’ve had in quite some time and I forgot how different and pleasant it feels. I do tend to choose to smoke more often when I have been drinking.
So if you are trying to quit, become one with your desire. Own it. Because your cravings will come and I can tell you first hand that telling yourself that you can’t have a cigarette is a trip to the most intense of psychological cravings you will ever experience. And after the physical withdrawal is over (about 48 hours) it is all psychological craving. I would know. They are pretty much the only type I experience. My cravings are far less intense now that I have embraced choice.
You have a choice. That makes all the difference.
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog. Thought I would share this with you folks. Thanks readers for making it the biggest year of this blog, despite me not posting very often. Hope everyone has a great 2014!
Here’s an excerpt:
The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 39,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 14 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
I watched this video not too long ago and it reminded me of the hard conversation I once had to have with my love. The hard conversation of letting him know of my less than conventional sexual interest. I love her message and it is worth a look for anyone who has ever had to have a hard conversation with someone. The little girl’s response reminds me of how my boyfriend reacted. It was a much bigger deal to me than it was to him.
This article describes the allure of smoking perfectly: Smoking Solidarity
With every measure out there to prevent me from smoking, the hardest part is finding a good brand of cigarettes to smoke. No seriously, it is difficult. Here is why:
1) Nobody smokes anymore. Why? Because it is bad for you and there is huge stigma against smokers. The people who do smoke hide it so you almost never see what brand they smoke. If they are a budget conscious hard-core smoker they likely smoke cheap budget brands that taste as bad as they smell. When I smoked last summer, the first cigarette I had was some iteration of a Benson and Hedges but it was dark, I never saw the pack so I will never know what they were unless I get the chance to ask my friend sometime. I don’t see her very often and she is currently pregnant and probably not smoking. All I know is they had a nice flavor without being harsh and weren’t so strong that I couldn’t handle them, even though I don’t smoke very often. It will be like searching for the holy grail, if and when I decide to buy another pack.
2) There are no cigarette ads anymore.
That is pretty self explanatory- the pack itself is pretty much the cigarette’s only form of advertising. And people hide their packs because they don’t want people to know they smoke
3) Packs are hidden from view even at the point of sale. Unless you go to a tobacconist.
4) Cigarettes now have a confusing colour system instead of using words like light or mild. Is black stronger than gold? Is sapphire stronger than green? Actually, I wouldn’t mind the colour system if I could find reliable information on what the cigarettes are like.
Long story short, all of the above are barriers to me purchasing good cigarettes. The only thing I know for sure from my last purchase is cheap
cigarettes are meh. Alright when I’m intoxicated, but even then I could tell they were not very good. Next time, I’m going for quality over price because if I’m going to inhale toxic fumes into my lungs, it better be delicious tasting. So far, cigarette reviews on YouTube seem to be the best source of information regarding strength, flavor and smell.
Rant done. Until next time…